Be So FR!

Hello all!

Recently I had to be so real with myself!

"What do I want?!"

This question actually came about because of an interview I had for a server/waitress position at The Cowboys Club . I was actually nervous because I thought this member's only club was for the football team (Dallas Cowboys) themselves, I later learned this is more of a members only club for the huge Cowboy fan, with occasional appearances of the Cowboys and other "important" people. For those who do not know, for the last almost decade I had been part of corporate hell, I mean America. I worked a few random jobs in LA and then when I got back to Texas, Covid happened and I transitioned to remote work and to talent acquisition/ recruiting. I have recruited for nearly every industry! This led me to work for the worst company on the planet (jk I know it gets worse but this was still a mess and bullshitty), Prolink. There I recruited for travel nurses, and other medical professionals. Should have been a rewarding job on many levels but instead ended up sort of traumatizing me lol. I went on a medical leave around May 2025, by August when I was set to return I was fired (for not having documentation in time to extend leave). Prior to fully deciding to take a leave, I worked at my friends family restaurant as a server. Considering during my time there I was able to average $700 in 2 days or about $1100 for 4. So this was a blessing that I got to work there and catch up on bills and such.

In another post we will discuss how Prolink changing the pay (lower) effected everything in my life. And probably in that same post will discuss how I ended up FIRED from the restaurant days before being formally let go by Prolink. Which has also effected EVERYTHIN G in my life.

So anyway, I have sort of locked in to the hustle of serving and I also bartend at events, and ALSO.. (yes yall technically working 3 jobs..) work at a country club doing front desk operations. The country club is about to undergo renovations so I will be bartending there as well now.

Prior to confirming anything other than the country club job, I was interviewing for serving jobs because, I NEED THE DAMN MONEY! lmao So anyway, Cowboys Club.. Im there and beyond the weird robotic energy when I got there, I ended up interviewing with a Black guy who was horrendous at faking energy. I wasn't sure what the problem was but I could tell he wasn't feeling me lol. There was a point he asked my favorite thing about serving ( dumb ass question for someone you see clearly has a different background and is 32 but whatever), then asked what I hated. Of course, I didn't have anything to say about what I hate so he says "You have to know what you don't want just as much as you know what you want". Maybe because of the place I was in, I let that repeat over and over.

"What do I want, what don't I want?" Ms. Speak things into existence. Can I even say out loud what I want? Do I feel safe doing so? This world, or at least the world I have lived in thus far, feels like it has went out of its way to systematically create a viscous cycle of the "Do nots".

"Do not find it sensible to invest in yourself" "Do not audition for things until your skin clears up or your teeth are actually straight" "Do not believe it is easy to follow your heart or your dreams" "Do not quit your horrible 'stable' job to start working for yourself".

His question made me hone in on what I do want! I never like to focus on things that make me vibrate low, and focusing on what I don't want felt like that. This question has led me to hyper-focusing on learning/unlearning what I want and am willing to do about it. I have faced so much rejection, and redirection... this has given my life a new energy of action! I'm excited to see what I make of what I do want. How I will obtain whatever that is, how I will create my safe place to expand and explore this facet of myself and my life.

The new year is a month away, so I ask you all reading this..

What do you want? What are you willing to do to have, be, or get it? - Whatever it is may you follow suit with courage, faith and love to get it all!

XOXO, Tymbria